sticky
photograph by k. allrich - all rights reservedWe choose our partners, apparently, with an undisclosed eye seeking the twin. Not the twin in the mirror, but the hidden twin, in shadow. The discarded, smothered twin we poked and twisted and kicked under the bed of childhood. The Other. The Everything We Are Not. The Abandoned One. Forgotten.
If the stars are kind, and align just right, you choose well. And the Chosen shimmers with your own potential, reflecting not what you have found, but what you seek. And in their glow you grow- just a little. You stretch and you risk- just a little. In time, when you notice a glint there, sparking fire back at you, you reach to claim it, knowing, This belongs to me. I am this, too.
And you take it back.
This unburdens your partner, piece by shining piece- who is, by design, if you have not done the work of reclaiming, either bored or chafing beneath the yoke of your golden-hued projection, or wandering off in search of eyes that see something new, real, and possibly, more authentic.
People ask, What is the secret of a good marriage? What makes it stick? I usually answer, Chemistry and manners. And I laugh. It's true- but only a slice of the truth. The more complicated truth is a messy, juggling, wrestling wrangle with the aspects of two separate selves discovering two mysterious twins in the marriage bed.
It's not always safe to integrate. The squelched and sore parts can knock apart equilibrium. It's not ever easy to bid for wholeness. And some days it's frighteningly tempting to believe that the dust clogged fragments poking from the shadows are not worth the excavation. Denial and distraction can smell pretty good at first.
But then you glance up from the table spread with paper, pens and chalk and you meet a gaze that sees you for who you really are, unadorned, quirky and tenacious- not to mention, fifty-three years of age. And you thank not the stars- or luck- or even fate. You know better. You smile back and crack, What are you looking at?
The love of my life, he says.
Karina Allrich © 2007/2009
6 spoons in the pot:
Incredible.
Karina ~ I'm so glad you opened up your comments...because I want to be able to tell you this...
That your words...no, the way you describe the/your world WITH your words move me girl. They move me to tears, laughter...or just to a different, ever so slightly, place. If that is an addiction...to know that you touch people...then so be it!
peace and shakin' the tree,
Lil xo
BEAUTIFUL, Karina. Such a look on such a day, the hard-earned knowledge that comes with it: you distilled it down to the essential truth--love, I'll take it.
The painting is lovely too.
P.S. I mean, the photo is lovely. I'm painting today and my brain is liquid.
Wonderful wisdom and tribute
Words to treasure
Thank you
The figs are lovely also
The photograph AWESOME, the last paragraph written just for me and lgb for 38 years of looking across the paper filled, coffee cup scattered, table and knowing that you were meant to be together.
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Thank you for taking the time to respond to my work. I read every comment. Twice.